From Ruth's eulogy: We are here today to do two things: to weep and, just as importantly, to smile. Obviously, it is OK to cry today but Ruth stipulated that anything overly dramatic was worthy of a £10 contribution to the collection! Yorkshire had become home to Ruth having spent more than half of her life here. However, she was very proud of her Northumbrian roots - a ‘posh Geordie bird’ as she often told me. She fondly remembered as a young girl living in a caravan with sisters Amy and Rachel while her parents, Tom and Dot, built the house that would always be ‘home’. Sadly, we lost Tom to cancer just a few months ago. Dot travelled to Leeds to be with Ruth a few days before she died and is spending today quietly at home, in the garden that Tom and Ruth loved so much. Ruth and I were together almost exactly 20 years. In that time, Ruth grew with her career, going from a junior accountant to a confident, assured change programme director. This time passed in the blink of an eye but, as many people have pointed out over the last couple of weeks, we packed a lot into that time. In 2002 the signs were that Ruth would be made redundant. Talk about taking the positives out of a situation! We started to plan a trip to Europe to spend the redundancy cheque. I negotiated three months off work and we settled on a tour of Spain. With many evenings poring over maps we plotted a tour involving Paradors, remote farmhouses, sea, mountains and the odd glass of Rioja. However, I assumed the plan would be shelved when Ruth’s employers changed their minds. They wanted to keep her. From this point she went into ‘Ruth mode’. She negotiated a deal where she would still receive her redundancy payment. On top of that she would be promoted, with a retention bonus. Happy days. Then came the sting. She told them she still wanted the three months off to go to Spain and they agreed. ‘Balls of steel’ was her main comment and we had a wonderful three month tour. Within a couple of years we were on the move again. Ruth was offered a two year role in Budapest. We decided to rent out the house just in case. As so often happened, we had a good night out in the Dog & Gun and, on the walk home, decided we should sell up and jump in with both feet. We didn’t regret anything and were soon settled in our beautiful apartment overlooking the Danube. Fourteen years on, we still talked often of our time there. I still feel slightly anxious thinking of Sunday afternoons at the kitchen table tackling our homework ahead of Monday morning’s Hungarian lesson with Imre. It remains one of the most difficult challenges we undertook! A year passed very quickly. It was so cold in the winter Ruth’s favourite bit was the huge roll top bath that she would fill to the brim and plunge in to get warm when she arrived home from work. The summer was hot, full of walks on Margit Island and along the river, open air concerts and eating on the terraces of our favourite restaurants. We’d just signed up for a second year’s membership at the gym when GE (Ruth’s employer) came up with another great job for her. We’d already discussed whether the next move would be Sydney or, maybe, New York. It turned out to be Leeds and we were headed home! Travel always played a huge part in Ruth’s career. We joked that I got to spend time in Birmingham, Livingstone and Coventry and she saw the world. She was such a regular visitor to India that the hotel staff all knew her by name and had her favourite drinks ready and her morning cup of tea just as she liked it. In addition to India and Hungary her trips took her to Hong Kong, the Middle East, Moscow, Milan, Madrid, Brussels, Paris Florence, Kazakhstan, America and many more places. Work was always extremely important to Ruth. For a start she was very good at it. Secondly, she was driven to prove that a woman could succeed in that sort of role. She used some of that drive in her role as a mentor and line manager. She took just as much pride in their achievements as her own. It is a tribute to Ruth that, even as the disease was progressing, she had the drive to be pushing for that next promotion. She felt cheated and angry when it became apparent that her disease would cut her working life short. I think the only time I heard Ruth feel sorry for herself was when she realised that the dream of a long retirement, sitting together on a sunny terrace, beating me at Scrabble with a glass of wine in hand wasn’t going to happen. I still vividly remember a day over five years ago. I was working from home, getting to grips with the forms needed for a proposed trip to India for work. I’d already had a medical and they were worried that I may have had a slight heart problem in the past and I should get it checked out. I had made an appointment at the hospital for the following day. Ruth came home early and, standing at the office door, told me not to worry but she had found a lump. She had noticed it the previous week when we had been on holiday in Scotland. She made an appointment with the doctor and she then referred her to the hospital. So, the next morning we found ourselves at the same hospital with appointments 30 minutes apart. When I explained to the nurse that Ruth was waiting for me, my appointment was cut short and I hurried upstairs. Our worst fears were confirmed in a brief chat with the surgeon and it felt like the world was collapsing. After the initial shock, Ruth set the pattern for the next five years - she wanted a plan. What happens next? What if that doesn’t work? What can I do? She continued to plan and it will surprise nobody to learn that she even planned today, her wishes set out in efficient coloured files. She specified that she wanted a party after this service with as many people as possible at the Dog & Gun in Apperley Bridge, celebrating her life rather than mourning her death. She even left instructions for me to navigate online banking, pension documents and everything else she thought I would need. Throughout Ruth’s illness she was looked after by the oncology team at the Spire Hospital in Leeds. Over the five and a half years we saw so much of them they became a second family. I would like to thank Professor Tim Perren, Auntie Jill, Auntie Di, Ria, Maggie, Danny, Santi, Ali, Shabs, Karen and everybody for taking such care of both of us. In her final days, the team at Wheatfields Hospice took over and cared for Ruth as if they’s known her for years. Special thanks to Kerry who made a huge difference in the final days. One of Ruth’s passions was travelling. Her favourite destination was Anna Maria - a small island off the west coast of Florida. We spent many happy holidays there and had even talked about buying a house and retiring there. One thing she was proud of talking me into was hiring bikes. I hadn’t ridden a bike since I was around 13 and wasn’t very confident. I can still hear her now telling me to be careful as I set off but laughing hysterically as I wobbled off into the distance. It wasn’t long before we got some confidence and spent many happy hours on the quiet roads, stopping at deserted beaches and ensuring there was always time for an ice cream. Over the years Ruth had suggested several times that we should go camping. She said that the look on my face told her this would never happen. However, she worked on me and was clever enough to spot the right lineup at a music festival. To her amazement I agreed to go and, despite near constant rain, had a great time at the Green Man festival in Wales. We immediately booked for the following year. A big disappointment in August was having to cancel our third visit as Ruth’s health was starting to deteriorate. Ruth meant so much to the people in this room today but she meant everything to me. We joked about how our soul mates just happened to be working in offices that were next door to each other. For those who don’t know, we met when we both worked for, what was, the Burton Group. I was in IT support and Ruth was payroll manager. We tried to keep things quiet at first but the rumour mill soon started. I remember having to walk the length of the payroll department to reach Ruth’s office and realised every pair of eyes was on my back! After announcing Ruth’s death on social media I was overwhelmed by the messages that came back from friends and work colleagues. Many mentioned how much she had helped them and how much they learned from working with her. Even more mentioned her smile and contagious laugh. Ruth can rest now, no more pain and the final plan milestone achieved. She was the most caring person I have ever met and I will always remember her beautiful eyes and near constant smile. Ruth wanted this statement to be read out: ‘You live the life you are dealt. Don’t waste time worrying about what could have been, focus on what is’ Reading selected by Amy and Rachel from Warren Zeavon’s song Keep Me In Your Heart For A While Keep me in your heart for a while Sometimes when you're doin' simple things around the house Maybe you'll think of me and smile You know I'm tied to you like the buttons on your shirt Keep me in your heart for a while Hold me in your thoughts Take me to your dreams Touch me as I fall into view When the winter comes Keep the fires lit And I will be right next to you